Chad Estioco – The Skytreader

I Hate Commerzbank

I’m not a sophisticated banking client. I have a very straightforward use case for my banks. When it comes to banking, it doesn’t get any more boring for me. Money goes in, some of it stays there, some of it I use, some of that usage is online. Boom. Boring.

I have also been banking since around 2009. I have opened accounts in multiple banks, two of them in Germany. I have jumped through all manners of hoops that banks come up with in trying to come to terms with the internet. Having been in the professional software industry for only slightly shorter than I’ve been banking, I try to understand why no banking system is ever pleasant to use.

What I’m trying to say is that I am an easy-to-please, hard-to-piss-off banking customer. I’ve had to complain to banks before, it was unpleasant, but only in the general sense that talking to customer support is unpleasant; when you get to the point where you need customer support, something has gone wrong so no one just “chitchats” with customer support.

That said, Commerzbank is the most frustrating bank I have ever had the displeasure to be a client of. There are only a few things the Philippines is better at than Germany and one of them is that we don’t have Commerzbank.

The sins of Commerzbank:

They have an over-reliance on snail mail, which is actually great if you are a bank from the last century.
This over-reliance has meant it took them ages to get me my ATM card when I first got here. I moved with only a meager sum of Euros to my name for various reasons but among them is that I was gonna get paid my salary soon enough anyway. I have considered that my employer might do me dirty and not pay my salary on time but I did not consider that I would end up with a bank who couldn’t even get me my ATM card punctually. (There’s a joke about German stereotypes here somewhere, something like, Germany would be actually punctual if they weren’t too bureaucratic.)

For comparison, Landbank, my first bank and one of the least-prestigious banks in the Philippines, could give me an ATM card on the day I signed up.
This over-reliance has also gotten them into, frankly, absurd situations. Some time over the pandemic (I believe it was 2021) they changed their terms and conditions. They went through the trouble of sending all their clients letters informing them of the change and requiring us to set-up an appointment and make a personal appearance in one of their branches so that we could sign the new terms and conditions in wet ink.

One year later, it turns out there was something wrong with their procedure so some court declared it invalid. They asked us to visit a link on their website, click on “Ich stimme zu”, and that was somehow the right procedure over that whole charade the previous year. Go fucking figure. 🙄
A few weeks ago, for some reason, my access to online banking was simply revoked. I called their customer support, who just kept “sending” me activation letters but after multiple attempts, it has become apparent that there is really something wrong with the customer credentials they gave me when I signed up. I had to figure this out myself, just today; I wonder why none of their customer support could figure out why none of the requested letters would reach me.
By the way, speaking of customer support, they claim that their support hotline is available round the clock. This is only true in the sense that trumps all other ways of being correct and true: technically. Yes you can call their customer support even in the dead of night and something (not necessarily someone) will interact with you “attempting” to solve your concern. It will even enqueue you for the next free agent. But if you actually want to talk to someone, stick to office hours. The unfortunate and deathly annoying thing is they don’t divulge when exactly these office hours are.

Note that some of these “sins” are not so much grounded on Commerzbank as a company but, arguably, on Germany as a society. Unpicking that is left as an exercise for the reader because I am too pissed and too worried that my rent payment for next month won’t come through because of this. For all it’s worth, during this whole time, I’ve been using my card to make payments and at least it’s still coming through. Small comfort.

Because of the bad first impression that Commerzbank has left on me, I also signed up for N26 as a back-up. I stuck with Commerzbank as my primary bank simply because I thought N26 is likelier to have problems in the long run, given that they are, basically, a “fin-tech start-up”. After almost six years, I think N26 has earned some bragging rights over grandpa Commerzbank.

TwentyTwentyPHOurTOS

I got ungodly swamped, busy, concerned, and distracted this year, mostly towards the end. It’s all resolved gracefully now, thank goodness but all the same, it’s the bad kind of busy, one where I wasn’t enjoying myself at all. Actually, it even ate into the good busythings, which must’ve just drained me even more.

I don’t really have much time for words right now but even in the busiest times, good or bad, I always have time for photos. And you know what speaks a thousand words?

First of all, I met John Romero, one of the creators of Doom, arguably what ushered in the whole PC gaming industry. I know this photo conveys a lot of things but it doesn’t convey my machinations and orchestrations to make my employer pay for my opportunity to meet John Romero. I am such a savvy guy.

And oh, I already admitted to my not-really-malfeasance. And since it is not a malfeasance, they can’t really do anything about it.

He even signed my copy of Masters of Doom, a book I brought with me all the way from the Philippines!

I didn’t get to travel as much, unfortunately, for reasons related to the annoying busythings I mentioned above. I don’t feel as hard done by the fact; after all, living in Hamburg has been a continuous five-going-six years of “vacation” abroad for me. And I get paid for it!

And I can visit the Schengen area basically. This year I went to Florence, cradle of the Renaissance.

I visited Prague in pursuit of the master himself, Alphonse Mucha. I like Prague. It’s my first Schengen-but-not-Eurozone country and it has its distinct charm. Plus, when I was there, it was not really crowded. I can’t believe it myself either.

And back here in Hamburg, Homeburg of five-going-six-years, I finally entered the hallowed premises of the Elbephilharmonie, the most expensive acoustics that money can buy and that German taxpayers paid for, and listened to the prestigious Vienna Philharmonic perform.

Can you believe COVID19 has been half a decade ago? Goodness!

I might write up on the annoying busythings that got me this year, and maybe more about this eventful year in general, next year. But for now, Happy New Year World! I don’t like the number 25 for reasons but let’s show next year who’s boss, okay?

Twenty Twenty Three

I’m writing this in a rush, in an attempt to beat the new year crossing into Germany in a couple of hours. Honestly, I kinda just took it for granted to even attempt to write something for this year. But, well, I got into the mood. After all, this will be the last alliterative year I’ll get for quite some time. I think the next one will be, what, Twenty Thirty? Hoo ha.

Well, what to say? That’s another year in the books. If I hadn’t updated this blog for a while now, it’s all because I am happily hands-full with other things. I’m touching grass, internationally too. I’m, you know, doing that thing they call life.

Honestly, Twenty Three could’ve been better but I survived it, without new injuries to my person. I lost some luggage. I made some mistakes but also some friends. I managed to start the year in a liminal space of being between Germany and the Philippines. Now I’m ending it on a Sunday, which is really a neat and strange day to have such a transition to occur.

Apparently, this is the year disposables and point-and-shoots are in-vogue again, which is a very head-scratching trend for me, given that one of the earlier story arcs in this blog is how much I struggled to escape that aesthetic. Kids, to recap: I saved up the money from my internship in order to be able to buy my first ever interchangeable lens camera, the admirable speed shooter, SLT-A35. And now you kids have the gall to say these grainy, never-properly-exposed shots are “more authentic”.

Kids. With all due respect. Get off my fuckin’ lawn!

This year, Netflix also adapted All the Light We Cannot See, which is, to my knowledge, the last book to have made me cry. The adaptation, incidentally, has become the last piece of media to have made me cry. Funny how that works. Louis Hoffman is great as a co-lead but, honestly, I’m kinda disappointed the adaptation treated Volkheimer’s small personal story arc very superficially. I understand the creative decision but he’s really one of the memorable side characters that, I think, helped drive home the treatment of war in the story.

Note: I didn’t re-read the book nor my review for that small paragraph above. Also, remind me I gotta watch the film treatment of The Light Between Oceans. You can really tell this blog has been around for some time now when story arcs like this go full-circle.

Oh lastly, this year, I also saw FC Barcelona play live at Hamburg Volksparkstadion for Champions League action, no less. They lost to the “home” team, FC “Giantslayers” Shakhtar Donetsk.

That’s it! I ended up writing more than I intended to. I have some noise/music to meet the new year with. Ciao!

Twenty Twenty Two

It’s been a nice year. Somewhere between me grumbling about how the pandemic is far from over and this post, we did have a good stretch of relative normalcy. I did not expect that either, otherwise my last post would be a bit more upbeat. As a result, though I still worked from my bachelor’s pad of an apartment practically the whole year, I’ve been really busy, catching up with what I missed of life in the past two years.

With all the grave ceremony that accompanied each pandemic update in 2020, I was expecting an equally momentous proclamation from the powers that be of “Pandemic Out!”. Kind of like how I imagine firefighters declare a conflagration extinguished for good. Alas, that did not really come to pass even until now and I’m just glad I realized this sooner than later.

And that is why one particularly wintry Sunday night in March I just decided to finally take my long-postponed trip to Venice. Someday I want to write dedicated blog posts (or, maybe more realistically at this point, they’d be essays in a book, maybe my memoirs. Heh.) about all my trips. But, as I said, I’ve been busy. I’ve literally been doing a lot this year. For now, those detailed reports would have to remain in my journals.

In fact, I think I’m facing this unique problem of getting burned out from all my hobbies. When I moved to Europe, I had one goal for my first few months while I was settling in: I did not want to get bored. That was an imperative, one that, I’m pleased to say, I managed to fulfill through my first few months as well as the pandemic lockdown era that followed shortly. And I did so by accumulating hobbies. It all came “crashing down”, so to speak, when I realized that this year can be relatively normal because now I’m trying to indulge not only in the hobbies I acquired during the pandemic but as well as those from before.

So Venice is not the only trip I took this year. I also went to Burg Hohenzollern to watch Shakespeare’s Othello performed in the castle courtyard. I went to Barcelona and inundated myself with Gaudi. And then to Vienna, a very artistic city, visual and auditory.

And I’m no longer just sketching on my Wacom; Zanshin Dojo is no longer my sole routine outing. I found a sketching group which gave me the time and space and just push to finally finish the A4 sketch book I started in 2017.

I even had an exhibit.

All this at the cost of time to work on my pandemic art project. I’m not disappointed in that trade-off.

Oh, last but most definitely not the least, I got a Steam Deck. Which probably means my quest for another brainfuck of an experience to rival Bioshock Infinite is on once more. In fact, it’s on like it’s never been before!

Anyway, I guess so far 2022 is as normal a year as I could have in Europe so far. At the moment, my plans for 2023 does not solely involve biking around Hamburg but also adventures and reunions with both people and places.

A Finish Forestalled

After months of wondering whether or not Corona-Warn actually worked, I finally received proof positive confirmation that it does. The moment the strange new notification squeezed its way into the queue of never-to-be-opened Reddit suggested posts was a moment of strange emotions. First came the novelty—wow, this actually does something! And then came the concern. Of course, I would’ve rather went through this whole pandemic wondering whether or not Corona-Warn did something than ever have exposure to COVID.

Since I got my full vaccination, I’ve decided to start trying to carve normality back into my daily routine. I am still taking advantage of the work-from-home offer in our office but I started daring to do small things that were previously out of the question. That meant getting on a train to have coffee in Berlin. And popping up in various restaurants even without a reservation just so I can move them off my Trello list. And stepping inside a movie theater finally so that The Rise of Skywalker is not the last film I have ever watched inside a proper theater; and oh boy is Dune a big gun to break this duck.

(Note: While I still think one of my gods, Christopher Nolan, is rather snobbish, if not outright mistaken, for insisting that his latest film Tenet is an experience that can only be realized inside a proper movie theater, I gotta give it to Denis Villeneuve. Dune is an experience for the big screen. Or, actually, it’s not so much the screen but the expensive acoustics of a movie theater. That film engulfs the audience and the sound—shout out to Hans Zimmer’s ever-impeccable work—is a huge part of its magic. In my pantheon of contemporary film makers, Christopher Nolan just had a companion.

But still, great films should have enough to stand on even if the sound is streamed through a ~30EUR Bluetooth speaker.)

I also decided to ~~see~~ buy tickets to Alanis Morissette’s concert in Hamburg. I’m not exactly a huge fan and I even came late to the party. I discovered her music just a few years ago alongside entrenching my fascination for dark and clear skies. My Spotify streamed Jagged Little Pill as I wrote TypeScript for Kalibrr. Nonetheless, I thought it would be such a strong “pandemic over” statement, being able to join a crowd in a live performance. Heck it was even booked in a football stadium not five minutes away from my apartment by bike. What’s not to like?

Unfortunately, for the time being, I would have to keep striking out my usage of the verb see when talking about this concert. It was canceled, due to the very thing I thought it made a statement against. Apparently, it’s still too cumbersome to bring a whole production on the road given the situation. Score one for the pandemic there.

Another thing I have taken to is that, finally, I’ve set foot inside Zanshin Dojo’s premises for the first time since March 2020. In between the first and the second waves, Zanshin Dojo started to offer outdoor classes. Attending these sessions was actually the primary reason I bought my bike. Of course, as soon as they could, indoor classes were also offered at a limited capacity. But despite the withdrawal of outdoor offerings due to the unsuitable conditions of autumn, I opted not to take any indoor classes; I thought the risk was just not worth it. This decision will be vindicated as Germany went into a second lockdown just a few weeks after the outdoor sessions stopped.

And then, it happened.

Coming to my senses after an initial dismissiveness—I received the notification almost a week from the purported exposure date; never mind that the long incubation period is among what made this pandemic a smashing global phenomenon—I noticed that the exposure date fell on a Thursday. I could’ve only contracted it in my first ever indoor class since the pandemic began, not in the restaurant I visited that week, as I initially thought.

This suspicion would later be confirmed as I received a call from Zanshin Dojo itself, informing me that someone among the participants of the class I took on 14 Oct tested positive for COVID. The Global Pandemic 2, Chad 0.

(By the way, no worries at all. My quick test after the fact returned negative results. Unsurprising as I am fully vaccinated anyway. I even went in for my second indoor session that week.)

But still, I am rather put down by how the activities I am taking up precisely in a personal attempt to declare the pandemic over do nothing but keep reminding me that it is in fact not yet over. I don’t remember asking for a Damocles’ sword ever hanging above my plans.

I even thought my next blog post would be the first in a while to not bear the tag “coronatimes” and yet, here we are. Frustratingly, the pandemic finish seems forestalled until further notice.

I have already talked about the things I’ve been doing to keep myself occupied outside of work in this pandemic. A curious observation for me is how my focus shifted towards active pursuits, rather than passive. Creative rather than merely consumptive. I’ve planned to spend my days reading books and while I’ve had quite a success on that front during last year’s spring, my free time efforts have shifted drastically after I got my Wacom tablet.

I’ve been teasing a comparison of what a game changer Wacom is for me, as opposed to my previous workflow of drawing on paper and then scanning it (with my phone). After my injury, my spring has been spent recovering while my summer has been busy utilizing my rehabilitated left arm. But today, you are in luck. I have some season-appropriate drawing comparisons to make.

The manual workflow needs a lot of post-processing—time I could just spend making another piece and even then I haven’t really found a reliable post recipe. Not to mention, a very controlled lighting set-up that I simply didn’t have. Take for example, this portrait I drew of Death of The Endless from Neil Gaiman’s Sandman, circa 2018.

Death from Sandman (colored pencils and sketch on Canson paper)

I want to say from the get-go that the actual sketch looks better. This is digitized from Google PhotoScan with a Google Pixel phone, the best of several attempts. Of course, I can’t really exhibit how the actual piece comes across to me but what I noticed here is how the colors are far less vibrant and how there’s a lot of detail lost in the shading and the line work.

I am actually really pleased with PhotoScan. It’s not its fault that it isn’t a scanner for artwork. It had to make algorithmic choices with the data presented to it. And this is where the choices lead to.

That said, how about straight from the camera app? Will it do any better?

Death from Sandman (colored pencils on Canson paper)

The midtones and shadows are immediately better at the expense of the highlights (i.e., Death’s pale skin). Better, and yet still leaves much to be desired.

Before we go any further, I think I should explain what I’m going for in this piece. I wanted it to be a rendition of that scene in The Kindly Ones where Morpheus talks to his sister for a final time. I have referred to this scene (and to this piece) as “It Always Rains on the Unloved”. There is also some intentional imagery behind the framing. Do you have any idea what that might be?

Back then, I didn’t really have a visual motif to go for. I just wanted to do a good drawing of Death.

Which leads us to today! I have decided to recreate this drawing using Wacom. The past year I have been really learning a lot about illustration and draftsmanship. You have seen me go for a visual style before, with varying levels of success. This time, let’s see. I wanted to go for a very early 90s comic book look, reminiscent of when Sandman first came out, as well as, to some extent, the jarring flat visual style of The Kindly Ones arc, where this scene heralds from.

I have to say, this went better than I expected. I am actually personally satisfied!

Back when I first mentioned my new digital painting hobby, I mused at the outcome of re-drawing Embrr, The World’s Most Dognified Dog, The Biggest Puppy I Know, etc. I noted how the illustration I made of him back when we still shared residence had a very soft boyish character to it whereas my newer attempt painted his features in a more compact bulk. I see a similar shift in this exercise with Death.

My 2018 attempt at Death had softer features; the digital version, in contrast, has an angular face and an almost diminutive framing, further emphasized by the additional space at the right side of the piece. In fact, the digital version reminds me of someone I have drawn previously though, unfortunately, it’s been a while since I last saw this reference in person.

I really intended this to be a straight-up portrait, but the visual style I achieved just compelled me to make this comic-captioned version, like it’s straight from the stories. Though the portrait’s inspiration came from The Kindly Ones, this text is adapted from the haunting closing pages of the World’s End arc. How postmodern isn’t it?

The digital paintings I have posted in this blog is just the tip of the iceberg that is my oeuvre. What’s more is that, save for the pets, the portraits I’ve posted here have been exercises in implementing a specific visual style; they don’t really reflect the techniques that I’ve come to develop and rely on, in my free time learning digital art. So, I decided to do another piece that is in my own style.

Coming to comic book stores near you!

A few closing notes

While I am satisfied with my draftsmanship, I gotta admit I wanted this last one to look a bit more like the previous one. I mean, it is still recognizably Death of The Endless and The Endless take on different forms depending on the viewer but it seems the viewer has changed slightly in between portraits. My point is, I’m not yet good enough for consistent character designs.
In making these pieces, I actually broke a rule I’ve been practicing and that’s to never use the extremes of #FFFFFF (white) and #000000 (black). That is, once you go black ~~you never go back~~ you paint yourself into a corner, committing that this will be the darkest shadow (or lightest highlight, in case of white) of your picture. No one is ever ready to make that commitment, unless your are drawing Death of The Endless, I guess.
Maybe using the extremes of black and white is inevitable when you’re going for a 90s comics aesthetic but I couldn’t justify an extreme shadow in my personal style. Hence, I used a brush with opacity features in order to bring some variation and character into the darkest areas of the image, though it was loaded with #000000 black.
All that said, I am really pleased with how my color choices came together for the last one! It seems it really helps to know a thing or two about color theory.

P.S. This is a Part I. If I ever get around to it, and the subject matter coalesces into something coherent, we will have a Part II. Thank you for subscribing to my RSS feed.