Love Said

Hello Blog. For the first time since I started you I have failed to update you in a calendar month. What a shame considering that the calendar month concerned was the month I turned 18, fully responsible at last for the adventures I’m having and not having. I blame school work for my lapse. I am sorry but it might happen again.

During my birth week I was swamped. I spent my first day as an eighteener being sick and solving discrete probability equations. Not exactly my idea of being 18 at last, though the probability-solving bit can still be argued for. During the last few days of last month I was cramming boolean logic into my brain, so wanting to do nothing but code away. I can no longer remember what happened in the interim but it was most likely spent thinking that I am finally at that part of my adventure when school and education presents themselves most differently. And I sort of have to make my choice between what I know I need to learn and what they think I need to learn. And I am making it.

I still have a lot on my plate and not just academically. It has recently come to my attention that I have apologies left over from last semester that need to be said and they’ve been sitting around my mind for quite some time now, waiting for the moment to stand-up and ride my voice. Gosh. “Sorry” is one of the simplest words I know yet at times it feels longer than a scientific name. But hey, at least I can warm-up here.

So Blog, sorry for last month and sorry as I can’t write my usual account of adventures. I still owe you one for September and hopefully times will be more favorable for it. As for now, I’m leaving you with something lifted from Jason Mraz which in turn was something he lifted from Rumi, as translated by Nader Khalili. The capitalization is all mine.

I was dead
I came alive
I was tears
I became laughterAll because of love
when it arrived
my temporal life
from then on
changed to eternal

Love said to me
You are not
crazy enough
you don’t
fit this house

I went and
became crazy
crazy enough
to be in chains

Love said
You are not
intoxicated enough
you don’t
fit the group

I went and
got drunk
drunk enough
to overflow
with light-headedness

Love said
You are still
too clever
filled with
imagination and skepticism

I went and
became gullible
and in fright
pulled away
from it all

Love said
You are a candle
attracting everyone
gathering everyone
around you

I am no more
a candle spreading light
I gather no more crowds
And like smoke
I am all scattered now

Love said
You are a teacher
you are a head
and for everyone
you are a leader

I am no more
not a teacher
not a leader
just a servant
to your wishes

Love said
You already have
your own wings
I will not give you
more feathers

And then my heart
pulled itself apart
and filled it to the brim
with a new light
overflowed with fresh life

Now even the heavens
are thankful that
because of love
I have become
the giver of light

~Rumi, Fountain of Fire
As translated by Nader Khalili

sunflower
See you soon,
Your Skymeister

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